Unofficial Kevin Schlehuber Fan Site

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“I don’t have 32 kids. These tattoos are fake. I’m gonna peel them off when this is over.”

"I don’t have 32 kids. These tattoos are fake. I’m gonna peel them off when this is over."

Timestamp 7/12 | 1:32PM PST | CAM3

Kevin: “I’m actually 21. I was born 08/07/96. I don’t have 32 kids. These tattoos are fake. I’m gonna peel them off when this is over.”

“You definitely ain’t parkin’ no f@#$%g bull in New York… unless you’re on Wall Street.”

"You definitely ain’t parkin’ no f@#$%g bull in New York… unless you're on Wall Street."

Timestamp 7/12 | 12:45PM PST | CAM2

WhistleNut: “I’ve been saying it for like 5 years we’re gonna go to New York.”

Kevin: “Nah New York’s too chaotic. You definitely ain’t parkin’ no f@#$%g bull in New York… unless you’re on Wall Street.”

“It smells like a Brazillian coffee house right now.”

“It smells like a Brazillian coffee house right now.”

Timestamp 7/12 | 11:50AM PST | CAM1

Kevin applying Cup O’ Coffee Face Mask: “It smells like a Brazillian coffee house right now.”

“She was like this, one-eye d*ck. She was one-eye d*ck.”

"She was like this, one-eye d*ck. She was one-eye d*ck."

Timestamp: 7/11 4:55PST CAM2

Kevin: “The only one you didn’t have to worry about was Elena”… “She came in soaking wet, discombobulated, one eye closed. I thought she was at the bar all night. Like Elena, what the f$%k happen they served you whiskey out there? She was like this (closes one eye), yeah, one-eye d*ck. She was one-eye d*ck. What is one-eye d*ck doing? What happened over there?”

“I didn’t realize I don’t talk game or anything. They don’t even need my microphone on.”

"I didn't realize I don't talk game or anything. They don't even need my microphone on."

Timestamp 7/1 4:54PST CAM3

Kevin: “I don’t know, I don’t talk to him about it ever. We don’t talk no game. I don’t talk no game at all. I didn’t realize I don’t talk game, or anything. They don’t even need my microphone on. They don’t give a sh*t what I say. You know what I mean, it’s when you start talking but no, I don’t talk to him at all.”

“Someone My Age Would Choke One Of These M#$*F@#$rs.”

"Someone My Age Would Choke One Of These M#$*F@#$rs."

Timestamp: 7/11 | 4:11PST | CAM1

Kevin: “Now I understand why they keep everyone the same age, because someone my age would literally choke one of these m$%^&f*&#rs.”

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